December 31st, 2010-into 2011, I had this fucked up female surgery kind of thing done. And honestly, I felt like shit, but you know me, I got IT IN! - I may have a pic on FB of that nite - hang on, lettme check.
Okay, yes - thank you FB! So hopefully, as you can see in my glamoured out face, it turned out to be an okay New Years, even after all the BS. Now, fast forward a month a half. Something medically happened & I ended up in the ER. #not a good look. I know, I had to do it haha! They couldn't figure out why my bad luck happened or what made it happen - actually, they couldn't do anything, but give me meds :) They even did a sonogram b/c I'm pretty sure they didn't believe I WASN'T pregnant. Go figure, like I said, I wasn't pregnant!
They fixed me up, dosed me up, and sent me on my way. They also told me to follow up w/my doctor asap to make sure everything was running smoothly. Fast forward again - this time, only 36 hours, the morning of my doctor's appointment. My ex, Shooz & I stopped at the bank first - I needed to cash a check. The next stop in my mind was already planned out - I needed cigs & an energy drink. As soon as I came out of the bank, I was dead set on 7-11, directly across the street. This of COURSE caused a, ummm what do normal people call them - "a tiff" - between Shooz & I. He immediately argued - we could get cigs & an energy drink a few miles away.
Ummm pause - a few miles...in "Funfax City" traffic, that could be up to 20mins. I smoke cigs to get thru traffic. And sip on my energy drink in between drags to get rid of the cig taste. (I know that sounds weird - why smoke if it tastes so nasty! But I've been trying to quit - for TOO LONG! It's a bitch of a habit....back to the great story!)
I manage to argue my way across the street to 7-11, and Shooz is driving - let's make that clear now lol - you will understand why very soon! So it had recently snowed a few inches - maybe 3-4, but it was sunny & had been melting for a couple of days. I will give Shooz some credit - the ground was wet & slippery (I have to stand up for him - this ultimately, not really, well partially, was my fault!) so as we pulled into the parking spot, apparently, Shooz's foot somehow slid off the brake & as I yelled "Shooz - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!!!????!!!!," we jumped the little yellow car stopper thingy, hit the loads of firewood in front of the window of 7-11 (THANK GOODNESS IT WAS WINTER - or it would've been SO much worse!) & I watched - in slow motion - as the wood crashed thru the entire, HUGE, front window of 7-11, at 9:15am, w/a good 5+ people in line, who looked on in terror, as the wood went thru the window, as well as the front bumper of Shooz's SUV. Somehow by the grace of a Higher Power, there was NO ONE reading the newspaper or at the stand, b/c when he ran into the newspaper stand/magazine area, shit hit the fan! (I mean for real though, who the hell even buys a newspaper anymore?? I'm not sure it really was a Higher Power, or just people up to date w/technology, and having ZERO need for a newspaper!)
I sat back in the passenger seat, w/my jaw on the ground - I'm pretty sure, literally. I looked at Shooz, who looked at me in disbelief, as we both looked at all the people inside, in disbelief - I mean who the HELL can say they have experienced a car going thru the window of a convenience store - especially 7-11 lmao. I'm so glad I can laugh now - even if it were my car, and after seeing that bill, that will be a while for Shooz to pay off, I would laugh. That shit was hilarious & OFF THE CHAIN! And the fire inspector had a pretty good sense of humor - he told us a few months back, someone had run ALL the way into the 7-11, about a mile down the street. Took out the entire front counter! DAMN, THAT SUCKS lol.
Unfortunately, well Shooz would say unfortunately, I would say he was a lucky man....5-0 pulled up to the scene w/in 1min. After Shooz told him what happened - as far as braking, foot slipping off the brake etc, the cop claimed he was waiting to turn into 7-11, and saw the whole shit go down.
I was on my way to work & had been pulled over w/dead tags, dead inspection, no insurance & no city sticker & w/my luck, for the first time in my life, this ASSHOLE cop told me my license was suspended! Long story short, it was a holiday, Martin Luther King Jr day - Jan 17th, 2011, and I told dude I had gotten nothing in the mail notifying me my license was suspended, although he insisted (the Judge later agreed w/me & threw out ALL 6 TICKETS!!!) but anyway, he told me I was a threat & danger to society & that I could kill someone. After me crying for 45min thinking I was going to jail for the first time in my life for not paying a NON-MOVING VIOLATION fine, I was hysterical. My mom even wanted to talk to the cop, and I told her balling like a baby "not even youuuu can talk my way outta this oneeee!" It was terrible.
Finally, the cop let me park my car in the garage on the next block, and made me walk home a 1/2mi in 14 degree weather. It also happened to be week two of me not smoking, and it was the first day I didn't wear "the patch." I don't think I've ever wanted a cigarette SO badly, as that shameful walk home.
Back to the story....this cop started taking 7-11's info & Shooz's info. Insurance, phone#, address etc. Shooz also happened to have an expired inspection sticker - it said 10/2010 & we were in 2/2011 - the cop looked at him, smiled, and then laughed & said, "You're inspection is dead, but I'm not going to ticket you, b/c you're in enough trouble." REALLY - are you fucking shitting me. I got the Fairfax City Dbag cop of the fucking year, and my ex-man runs thru 7-11 w/a cop who witnessed it, who, in reality, didn't even see anything, but was cool as shit, and didn't give him a ticket.....ain't that some shit??!!
All in all, I got my cigs, and my energy drink. I went to my Doctor's appt - everything was fine. It was like I was a born again Virgin....but not really. Thank goodness for stories in life we can look back & laugh at!
As of recently, I no longer talk to Shooz. He really pissed me off. He does know the blog though - on a softer note, if you read this Shooz, you know you fucked up lmao. I'm pretty sure you will never have as many kick ass stories as you had w/me. And don't worry, there are MANY more to come involving you. I hope LA is treating you well, and you're not doing anything I wouldn't do.....haha, j/k biaattcchh!
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